Put me in coach

Congrats to the Cavs on what should be deemed a successful season. To get to the next level, they just need a little something extra and I think I can help. So coach if you are reading this, I'm ready to sign. They need a guy who can hit three pointer after three pointer and i've secretly been in training. I realize that I am only about 5'9" 175lbs which is not the typical size of an NBA player, but after each of my shows, I've been sleeping in one of those machines that stretches you to make you taller as you sleep. I am now up to 5'9"..and1/8 so I am almost to NBA size. Realizing what the Cavs needed early on in the season I began my training. Back in February, I purchased a Nerf basketball and rim. Now mind you it wasn't easy at first to hit those outside shots, but now I am making 9 out of every 10 and think I am ready to help the Cavs next season. I also practiced my dunks on the Nerf hoop but stopped after I bruised my knee and cracked my bedroom closet door. Sorry coach. I can always be reached via e-mail, or Monday-Friday 7pm-12am at 216-578-0104. Thanks.